It's really not about you....but it's all about you!
Waking me out of a sound sleep is never a good thing. The right sleep and how I manage my morning sets the tone for the rest of my day. So when I hear my neighbor's mower going at 7 in the morning, right underneath my window, it really jangles my nerves. With a few choice words, I push the cat away and grumpily get out of bed. In 2 minutes, I've already decided to be in a bad mood. Decided. to. be. in. a. bad. mood.
Was this the master plan of my neighbor, who evilly plotted the night before to roust me out of bed before I could center myself? Does my neighbor have something against me? Is he completely uncaring about the effect his mower has on me at 7 in the morning? I would have to be really honest with myself and say "No, he is not a super villain". He is a hardworking man who wanted to mow his yard before it got too hot out. So, his mowing the lawn at 7 in the morning was not about me at all. None of it was about me.
But heres the tricky part. It was all about me, because I made it all about me. I took someone else's action, that had absolutely no energy attached to it, and gave it negative energy. Even worse, I sent my innocent neighbor negative energy, and even worse than THAT, I turned my beautiful day into a day full of resentment, annoyance and aggravation. Over a lawn mower. It didn't have to be a lawn mower. It could have been anything, and at the same time, it wouldn't have mattered what it was about.
What it was really about, were the choices I made for myself. The emotions that I allowed to dampen my day. The beliefs that held about my neighbor, my needs, my importance in the big scheme of things. We like to think that we are always at the mercy of others, and that our emotions and beliefs are justified when things are done "to" us.
The truth is, we are all just humans doing the best we can with our given resources, and all we are doing is just trying to move through the world the best way we can. We are (most of the time) not "doing" anything to anyone, and most of us would be truly shocked to find out that our various survival mechanisms were seen as a Machiavellian plot to destroy the world by other people, even people that are close to us.
So the lesson here is, nothing has the power to affect you one way or the other. Even the most vile seeming act, will only have the energy that you allow it to have. You are the owner of your thoughts, feelings and where you choose to put your consciousness. I am the boss of my morning, my day, my year and my life. I do filter all life's events through my subconscious mind, and that is where the real power lies. What events play out over and over in my head, setting the stage for all these imagined slights? This is where Hypnotherapy comes in. A Hypnotherapist helps you uncover those events, those relationships that made you conclude things about yourself and life and general that are keeping you from your best life, and reframes those relationships and events in a way that more accurately reflects the truth about you and the world you live in.
So understand that, while it is absolutely NEVER about you.......In reality, it is ALWAYS about you.